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I recently searched the term "santa tracker 2008" and found a half-dozen sources for tracking info besides NORAD.
The Old Guy's already covered much of the earth, and I find it astounding. It's not just the travel speeds involved here, but also the physical prowess of descending chimneys, snarfing cookies and chugging milk, depositing merchandise (without delivery mistakes, I might add), stuffing stockings, and then making speedy, ninja-like egress from each home, scooping reindeer poop up off of each rooftop so as to not offend his constituents. And all this before he knocks off to get to the after-Christmas sales so he can buy gifts and stock up for next year. (You still think his labor force actually builds each toy?)
So the question is: How Do He Do It?
I will proffer my theory here, and I invite each of you to do the same:
Santa Tracker 2008 "High Speed Theory #1"
I believe that Santa Nicholas Claus is actually a multi-dimensional being who exists simultaneously in any four of 53 contiguous dimensions. He keeps himself obese so that he can divide his mass between five of those dimension-sets simultaneously, each then skinny as a rail and capable of descending chimneys without even getting soiled. Since one dimension in each set of four is a time-type dimension, he accelerates to near-relativistic speeds which, naturally, slows time, allowing him to accomplish even more in a given interval of time.
I have no evidence of this ... but I do believe.
What is your theory? Please share it here before you click some Christmas sale link or spike the eggnog. The world needs our combined wisdumb.
--News Junkie
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I'm thinking I'll start believing too. That's much more exciting than MY theory. This multi-dimensional stuff makes me think of my college days with all of those physics classes. *sniff* I remember them well...all two weeks ago or whatever.
ReplyDeleteMy theory has to do with unrequited love. Seriously, if you think about it, everything has some tie to unrequited love. Or pirates.
If you'll excuse me, I have some eggnog to spike. ;)